Ambitious & Overwhelmed? How to balance a successful corporate career with family life
Is it possible to sustain a successful corporate career, AND a nourishing family life?
The answer: it depends.
This is a conversation I’ve been having loads recently - with friends and with clients of all genders. We’re all in our early 40s and beyond. Most of us have partners, kids, mortgages, ‘lifestyles’ we want to maintain, ageing parents.
And many of us have (I love this phrase) a ‘big job’.
A job with a big title and lots of responsibility and a big salary and status. A job with a team you’re proud of. A job you love despite the pressure and demands.
As an executive coach, my focus is supporting leaders to balance commercial success with a deeply meaningful life. So I feel I should offer some thoughts on this question: how can we balance these often-competing worlds? How can we thrive in the corporate world, AND feel connected and present with our families?
Well, there are two sides to this. I mean, there’s probably more, but for simplicity let’s stick with two.
External variables, and internal variables.
The different factors that make it more or less possible to calibrate between a high-pressured career and a fulfilling family life. Here’s my ‘first draft’ of some of these variables - generally, you have more control over the internal than external ones.
External variables
The culture of your organisation - flexibility of working patterns, psychological safety, expectations.
Household financial means - finding balance can be easier when there is a nanny, cleaner etc.
Complexity of your family circumstances - the type of kids you have, any physical or mental illnesses for you/your partner etc
Having / not having extended family nearby - grandparents etc.
Internal variables (This is where coaching is transformational, expanding the field of what feels possible for you)
The story you hold about why you are valuable - if your self-worth is hooked into productivity and others’ good opinion, finding balance is a constant struggle.
The story you hold about choices available to you - I hear the words ‘I can’t change anything’ on a daily basis, when what someone really means is “I choose not to change anything, because I’m scared of the consequences”. By coming back into choice, we can expand what feels possible.
How easy you find it to set and maintain boundaries. We are ALWAYS operating within boundaries - the question is whether we’re the ones who have set them, or someone else.
How much you can bear ‘good enough’. For many (most) high achievers, they have spent a lifetime being praised for excellence. But the more complex life gets as we get older, the more ‘excellence’ can become a straitjacket, if we expect it of ourselves in all areas. Sometimes, good enough is good enough.