4 Steps To Deal With Rejection At Work
How can you deal with rejection at work?
During the last round of my group career coaching programme, The Intuitive Career, one of the participants asked to leave after 2 weeks. It was the first time in five years a client has asked to stop working with me part-way through a programme.
And I’m so glad it happened.
Admittedly, my very first reaction was, “I’ve done something wrong, I’m not good enough, this course isn’t good enough’” And OF COURSE that was my first reaction - most of us are conditioned from a very young age to want to please people, to want to be accepted and to see ‘rejection’ as inherently bad.
But what if it’s the exact opposite? When I shared this experience with a business network I belong to, the response from many of the experienced leaders was “that’s brilliant, losing your first client is a step-change moment in your business”.
And they were right. I’m incredibly grateful to the client for being honest about their experience, and proud of us both for how we navigated the situation.
So here are four lessons I learnt from rejection, and why I believe it’s an opportunity for growth - as a leader, a business owner and a human being.
#1: Trust your Intuition
When we’d originally spoken ahead of the programme starting, I’d had a nagging feeling that the fit wasn’t quite right. Nothing to do with the person, nothing to do with me or my product, but something just didn’t quite click. And I ignored that intuition, because I had a target I wanted to meet. Once again, the universe served me up a lesson to listen to my intuition.
#2: It’s not your job to convince people to work with you.
When the client said they wanted to leave the programme, we had a great conversation about what wasn’t working for them. We explored what support they needed and how they could get it, agreeing that it was outside of the scope of the course. But at no point did I try and convince them to stay, or defend ‘my product’.
If they had stayed in the programme, they would have resented it and I would have expended mental and emotional energy worrying if they were getting value. Business relationships that are founded on one party ‘convincing’ the other of their value are doomed to fail. Have the confidence to move on graciously, and focus on the people for whom your product or service is absolutely perfect.
#3: Every ‘no’ makes way for a ‘yes’
You can choose to see rejection as a loss, believing that there are a finite amount of opportunities available to you in your career, and you need to cling onto each one.
OR, you can choose to see it as a natural process, clearing out what isn’t meant for you, in order to make way for the things (clients, projects, pitches…) that are most fully aligned with your purpose and your skills. By not clinging on to the ‘no’, you’ll be more able to recognise other opportunities that present themselves. Such as the monthly membership that I’ve set up for alumni of The Intuitive Career, at the request of the people who found it transformational.
#4: Relationships are more important than money
I gave this client a full refund. Not because their investment in the programme was a drop in the ocean of my vast wealth, but because it was the right thing to do. We both left the situation feeling heard, fairly treated, and with goodwill towards each other. No murky energy, no unresolved resentment. And that type of relationship is more valuable than anything, because relationships are how businesses flourish.