Why Boundaries Are Vital for Effective Leadership
“Compassion without boundaries is self-harm.”
This morning, I ran a workshop on ‘Setting & Maintaining Boundaries’ with the leadership team at a biotech company. It’s part of a series of workshops I’ve created over the last two years exploring Self-Leadership - how we can take back control of our experience of the world around us, in order to lead more consciously and from the heart.
As we head into Christmas, the need for clear and healthy boundaries feels preeeeeetty heightened. Time with family, competing demands, and the ever-present faff of Covid, requires us to equip ourselves with as many tools as possible to stay sane. So I want to share with you what I actually mean by ‘boundaries’, and why they are so crucial.
What ARE boundaries?
Well, obviously there’s the boundaries of countries and of your neighbour’s fence. But here, we are interested in the boundaries that we set between us and the external world. They fall into two camps:
1/ Setting practical limits, or logistical boundaries. Essentially, what WILL I do, and what WON’T I do? Examples of this type of boundary includes setting a limit of 48 hours staying with your family, or not responding to Slack messages outside of working hours.
2/ Distinguishing between self and other, or psychological boundaries. Essentially, what is ME, and what is NOT me? Examples here include not taking responsibility for others’ enjoyment at a party, or being clear on your personal beliefs and choices on Covid.
Why are boundaries important?
There are three core benefits to setting and maintaining clear boundaries. See which of the below feels most important for you.
1/ Boundaries prevent burnout. You cannot pour from an empty cup. If your inner resources (resilience, energy, patience, focus, empathy etc) are depleted due to continually doing or giving more than you can handle, you will eventually burn out and be unable to do or give any more. It’s as simple as that. Every human being has limits - physical, emotional, mental.
2/ Boundaries allow us to optimise performance. With healthy boundaries, we remain able to access all the resources listed above, and the executive functioning of our brain - logic, reason etc. When your nervous system is going haywire because you have not maintained your boundaries, you won’t be able to access your peak performance. For consistent optimal performance, boundaries are essential.
3/ Boundaries protect our sense of self. If we haven’t done work to get clear on our values, our beliefs, our priorities and what is/isn’t ok for us, it is MUCH easier to get pulled into other peoples’ drama. We can take on others’ (parents, partners, friends, the media) opinions and fears, and accept them as our own. When we ARE clear on our values / beliefs / priorities etc, it is much easier to ‘stay in your own lane’. And with this comes confidence, easier decision-making, and a sense of inner peace.