The power of 'living in flow': Leadership skills that you might not expect.
By nature, I’m a pusher.
I push and I push and I PUSH (except in childbirth - there I had a c-section. The irony). I am constantly trying to make SOMETHING happen.
I pushed to be given my first reading book the summer BEFORE I started at school because I couldn't wait any longer. I pushed to get a scholarship to a private school aged 9, then pushed to go back to the local comp when I realised aged 13 that there were no boys.
I pushed to get a sabbatical from my job when there was no sabbatical policy in place. I pushed to have a baby, even in the face of infertility and a less-than-enthusiastic partner.
And you know what? In a society and work culture where the squeaky wheel gets the grease, pushing worked for me, for many years. That's the thing about behaviour patterns - in one way, they serve or protect us. Otherwise we wouldn't have started doing them in the first place.
But there's a downside. I'm VERY rarely content. Happy - maybe. Content - no. I'm not satisfied unless I'm pushing for something to be different (i.e. better). I see everything as an opportunity for 'improvement'. And in the meantime, I forget that I'M LIVING MY LIFE, RIGHT NOW.
One of the the biggest learnings for me over the last few years, both as a business owner and as a human being, has been the power of ‘living in flow’. It’s something I continue to commit to, and it’s something I explore with every leader that I coach. However, I’m aware it can seem a pretty abstract concept, so I want to share two specific examples of living in flow, and how it might just transform your work and life.
1) Paying attention to your natural cycles of energy.
There are cycles in nature. Spring = newness, growth, things emerging. Summer = activity, creating, networking. Autumn = reflecting, shedding and revealing. Winter = slowing down, resting, restoring. A natural ebb and flow of energy. And the same is true of human beings - both men AND women.
When I try and force 'productivity' into my work / marriage / life when I'm actually in a period of Inner Winter, I just end up feeling like a failure. When I try and be still and calm when I’m in my ‘Inner Summer’, I get frustrated because I need an outlet for my creativity. By accepting and welcoming the energy that IS present, rather than what SHOULD be there, I can enjoy it, AND I can harness its power. Nature needs all four seasons to function optimally. So do we.
2) Letting go of things that just aren’t meant for you.
There’s a myth in our society that in order for something to be worthwhile, it has to be hard work.
Many of us expend a huge amount of energy holding onto things that, quite frankly, don’t merit the effort. Whether it’s a job, a project, an idea, an opinion, a relationship, a house, whatever - we are often incredibly reluctant to let go of things, probably through fear of being left with a void. But what if the ‘holding on’ is actually stopping a new job / project / relationship etc from coming into our lives, one that is right for us?
I’m not talking about giving up on things when the going gets tough. If that were true, I would have neither a business nor a marriage right now. I’m talking about having the wisdom to see when you’re clinging on to something that you KNOW is not making you happy, and the courage to trust that something better will come along in its place. Something that’s aligned with your soul, as opposed to shackled to your ego :)